January 2025- Bringing Kai Home

 

Bringing home a new baby is such a hard yet sacred time, and it blurs all together. Everything feels so special when the baby is new, so there's over 100 pictures in this post, yikes! But if you'd like a cliffsnotes version of what I endured this month: One hour ambulance ride, hemorrhage and blood transfusion, emergency c-section, spinal headache, heart concerns and cardiologist appointments, PTSD and anxiety, 4 days of no power, the stomach flu, and Brent out of town for 4 days. But to offset all that, a lot of sweet baby snuggles.

This post starts on Sunday January 5, the day we brought Kai home from the hospital. The post before this is Kai's birth story. 

We had an hour drive home from the hospital, and we got home around 4:30 pm. Since the kids weren't allowed to visit the hospital, this was their first time to meet their baby brother. I had envisioned us pulling into our garage, and quietly coming in the house with our kids each getting a chance to meet and hold the baby. 

Reality: The power had been out all day on our street, so we couldn't open the garage and parked out front with all of the neighbor kids running around. Brent couldn't figure out how to get out the car seat, so he had to finally just take the baby out, as everyone is running around trying to get a look at the baby outside. Ha. Here's a video:

Audrey's face is grossed out at the baby's belly button.

The kids still didn't know the baby's name! Brent wanted to tell each of them when they got their own private turn to hold their baby brother for the first time. 

I love how Audrey is just staring at her baby brother, so fascinated by him.

When she was holding him, she told me, "I'm never going to say him dumb, because he's so cute!" She said it with such love that I took it as her pledge to always love him. 

The first evening our friends had to postpone bringing us dinner since the power was out! Luckily Brent had picked up a pizza at Sams Club on the way home, and I ate some leftovers we still had. The power came back on in the night so thankfully we didn't lose the food in our fridge.

Kai's first morning at home- being doted on by his siblings.

Like all of our other babies, Kai loves looking at the light from the windows. 

Before I checked out from the hospital the day before, I had an ECG because my heart rate was extra low and the nurse was worried about it. The ECG came back normal and I was allowed to go home. On the first morning at home though, I felt really terrible. I felt like I couldn't breathe and I had pain in my back when I inhaled. My heart rate was still really low (in the 50s) and it felt like it couldn't keep up with my body. All of this along with the sleep deprivation, blood loss, and c-section recovery. I was trying not to panic, but feeling like I couldn't breathe was scary. I decided to wake up Brent as I was terrified I was going to have to go to the hospital again. He talked to me and rubbed my back and helped me calm down. Throughout the next few days I continued to feel this way though, and I literally thought I might die, as my heart didn't feel like it was working. Nursing the baby helped me feel calm, and Brent rubbing my aching back helped. I did not want to be more than a few feet away from him as I was worried that he would need to help me if I couldn't breathe at all. I think besides the physical pain I was having PTSD and flashbacks to the stressful birth. It's hard to explain, other than to say I experienced a lot of suffering these first few days at home. 

My feet and legs were still swollen as ever. The nurses told us that it would take several days for all of the extra fluid in my body to work itself out. 

My neighbor brought the kids ice cream and left flowers on our table before we got home from the hospital. Thank goodness for all of our wonderful friends.

Our power was out again during the day but came back on in the evening. Our neighbors brought us dinner, and I barely had the energy to come downstairs to eat. Our first picture as a family of 6! 

That evening we asked Katie, our next-door neighbor who is a nurse, to come check on me. She brought a pulse oximeter and we could see that I was getting good oxygen. She told me things to watch for and reassured me that I was okay. We just chatted for a long time and I felt much calmer and forgot about my breathing for a little bit. That night I was able to lay down to sleep for a little bit (the breathing problem was worse when I was laying down) and I dreamed that it was okay that I couldn't breathe so well. I didn't wake up panicked because in my dream it was okay. Katie and then my peaceful dream were an answer to the prayers of many people praying for me.

A video from 2:40 am. Is there anything that bonds you more as a couple than being up at all hours of the night, looking at awe at this new life you brought into the world?!

Tuesday was Kai's second day home from the hospital, and oh boy was it something to remember. To start off, we had no power again. 

Brent took Kai to his pediatric check-up near our house, but I didn't feel well enough to go with him. I was dizzy and weak to walk more than a few steps around my house. The doctor said that Kai looked jaundiced, so we needed to take Kai to has his bilirubin checked. They could only check it at the hospital, which is an hour away from our house. The doctor said that if his bilirubin was too low, they'd need to keep Kai overnight under the lights. We debated whether I should go with them, but I wasn't even feeling good enough to go to the appointment near our house, let alone an hour away.  So, Brent went on his own, and brought Coen to be his helper. 
I stayed home with the girls and missed my baby :( We had no power all day, so the girls played play dough for hours. 

Brent feeding the tiny baby at the hospital.

While they waited in that part of the island for the lab results, the boys went out to lunch.

I went to pump and realized I couldn't since we didn't have power! I didn't have the strength to walk to campus and find a room to pump, but luckily I remembered the hospital had given me a hand pump! Our house was extremely hot since our fans couldn't turn on, so I sat there sweating, pumping by hand. 

I tried checking in with Brent to see if the baby was going to have to stay the night in the hospital, but Verizon service went down for everyone. So here I was in a hot house with no power, no cell phone coverage and feeling yucky.

Soooo, we went outside and talked with our neighbors who were also outside trying to cool off and pass the time. Luckily my neighbor Katie had cell service since she doesn't have Verizon, so she was able to get in touch with Brent. It was comical- she would run across the driveway to give me a message from Brent and give me updates on what was happening with Kai, and relay questions about what I needed from Target as Brent was shopping there before coming home.

On the way home from the hospital, the traffic on the highway came to a standstill as there was an accident. Brent had Coen feed Kai a bottle in the car, but then Brent said Kai was just crying and crying as they were sitting there waiting for traffic to move. 

In the meantime at home, I wasn't sure if someone was going to be able to bring us dinner or not, since the power was out for our street all day and night. And I had no cell phone to try to contact anyone. A neighbor showed up at 6 and dropped off enchiladas (he used a friend's oven). Brent finally got home and we ate dinner by the light of a candle and our cell phone lights.  

We still had no power by 10:30pm so Brent and I went to his office to charge our phones that were just about dead. Kai's first time to his daddy's office :)

We left his office an hour later and came home to power in our house, yay! So glad to have that day over. And so glad to be holding my baby again.

The next morning, Coen introducing his brother to his two good friends:

A Marco Polo we sent to Karen that I wanted to keep:

We had some cooler weather so we were able to put Kai in a sleeper:

On a walk to the temple with their friend:

I started to get a horrible pain at the bottom of my neck and couldn't turn my head! I still had a very low heart rate. Audrey started school, and her speech teacher also came to our house for her lesson. You can see them at the table behind me:

Friends came to play with our older two since they started school a couple days later.

Lots and lots of snuggles:

Going cross eyed trying to focus on mommy:

On Thursday Brent went to work in the temple and I was so scared to be left alone, but our sweet neighbors brought us dinner and held the baby so I could eat. That evening Bob & Tammy arrived! Help was here now! 

Meeting Kai (8 days old):

Brent created a scavenger hunt for the kids to find presents. Congratulations on becoming big brother and sister presents.

Holding Kai on 1/10, right when the c-section was scheduled. So crazy to think about since he was now 8 1/2 days old!

Ava got to go with Grandma and Grandpa on an outing and to the Dole plantation for lunch.

Tammy gave everyone in Utah a little blue duck to make snow ducks and we got one to make sand ducks! The boys are holding their sand ducks.

Tummy time

I started to feel a little bit better. Kai would only sleep if being held. And that includes all night! I slept on the couch kind of propped back, holding him. 

Tiny little guy. He had lost weight after birth so was in the 6lb range. 

The pediatrician had told us to wait until Kai was 2 weeks old before introducing a pacifier, but this evening, when he was 10 days old and being so fussy, we figured good enough, and gave it to him. He immediately loved it! 

The quilt that Lois gave Kai. Notice the ocean theme for his name :)

The first picture of my four kids! 

Ava started Young Women and loves it so much! We had to take a picture of our beautiful grown up girl.

I love the scrunched up legs.

A video of his thinking eyes:

We had to get Brent's parent's rental car back to Honolulu, so Brent took his parents to the botanical garden in Kaneohe while they were out. 

So beautiful!

On Tuesday the 14th (12 days post partum) we got into a cardiologist (she had a cancelation and I was so grateful to get in soon rather than waiting forever!). Brent drove me the hour each way to the appointment and I cannot tell you how much it lifted my spirits to see the ocean as we drove. That, along with the cardiologist telling me that my heart sounded okay, made me feel like a new woman emerging from a tomb :) 

By now my tummy went completely away. I miss my pregnant tummy! A lot of people comment about how I don't look like I just had a baby, but it's just genetics and my petite frame. 

The choir professor at BYUH started a class for kids at her home once a week. A singing/dancing Broadway type of class. I signed Ava and Coen up and they are loving it! Here's a picture their teacher sent.

A picture on Kai's due date- January 15! He was born on January 2 just after midnight, so he was almost 2 weeks old by now.

Lots of Grandpa snuggles:

The kids and Grandma & Grandpa went to the beach by our house after school:

Kai started sucking his fingers the second I took off his mittens. He always had his hands by his face in the ultrasounds, and the same goes for out of the womb. A video:

Bob & Tammy helped us with yardwork one hot morning!

Brent drove me back to the cardiologist to get an echocardiogram and I got a monitor to track my heart for a week. 

That evening Ava went to the temple for her first time! Brent serves in the baptistry on Thursday nights so she went that night. Grandpa and I went with her too. It was lovely.

Coen got to feed Kai a bottle:

Brent took/snuck Audrey to swim at Turtle Bay's swimming pool. He and his parents didn't get in- just Audrey, since we weren't staying there. She had been begging to go ever since we walked around the hotel the month before. She was in heaven on that water slide.

We all went to get shave ice that night at Angel's by our house. Kai is in his car seat near me. A first little outing!

In the middle of the night, I woke up and heard Audrey throwing up in our bedroom. Nooo!!! She only threw up once more and seemed quite a bit better during the day until the evening when she got a fever and then cold symptoms. Strange. She spent the next couple of days in our bathroom so that we could try to contain the germs. Kai was only two weeks old and I did not want him to get any germs.

Everyone else went to town, to go to the Bishop's Museum with the Rappleyes. I snuggled Kai and took care of Audrey without trying to get too close.

Bishop's Museum:

On Sunday I went to sacrament meeting while Tammy watched Kai. It felt so nice to get out of the house and be uplifted!

The Rappleyes came over for a visit:

 MLK day- Bob & Tammy took our kids to Wet n Wild:

Costco for dinner:

Audrey was feeling better and she took her baby on a walk in the carrier while I took mine!

 

I was able to walk to Brent's campus and back. Slowly improving and getting my energy back each day.

Notice we have jackets on. We had a cold spell while Bob & Tammy were here, which I think made our house barely livable for them haha. But we were so cold. My friend posted this on Facebook and it was so true- "Tourists are running around saying it is such a beautiful day. Not funny! It's 65 degrees, we're fighting for our lives out here!" 

Tuesday Brent took his parents to the PCC. He then went to work while they explored the islands.

Baby Kai looking so different each day. 

Cutie neighbor friends:

Brent's colleague brought us brownies. We had so many friends bring us dinner, diapers, and gifts. We live in the best community!

On the 22nd it was time for Bob & Tammy to fly home. Brent took them to the Pearl Harbor aviation museum first.

Saying goodbye...

That evening I came down with the stomach bug. It was super awful getting it at 3 weeks postpartum, as you can imagine. I was also so stressed that our little baby was going to get it from me, but luckily no one else did.

The smallest shorts we have for Kai (0-3 months) - still so huge on him! 

Coen's primary activity leaders plan fun activities. This one was a dinner with the elders in our ward, practicing manners and asking the missionaries questions. 

Brent and I went on a walk to the beach- my first time after having Kai. I wasn't sure I would have the energy to make it all the way there (it's only about 1/3 of a mile each way) but I did it. Kai's first time to be near the ocean- he slept :)

I went to Coen's basketball game while Brent watched the baby at home. Coen's basketball team lost every game but one this season. Coen is sooo much shorter than all the other kids his age, and they wouldn't ever pass to him so that he could shoot (he's such a good shot!), but I think he still had a decent amount of fun. 

Kai at 3.5 weeks old:

I sent this meme to my mom because it felt appropriate for the difficult postpartum life, haha.

We went to church as a family of 6 for the first time! Kai slept in his car seat the entire time. It felt so nice to be at church, and also for Kai to sleep in something other than my arms for the first time in a while.

I had to take pictures of my cute matching kids:

The kids fought over who got to hold Kai, so each kid got a picture holding him.

Sunday evening Brent left for Utah for 4 days. I was so stressed about this! Luckily we had friends make us dinner each night while Brent was gone and that helped a lot. I also had a friend who took Audrey to preschool for me each morning.  I told myself I literally just need to keep the kids alive 'til Brent gets back. That was all I had to do.

Monday morning I was helping the kids get ready, getting them breakfast, etc using one arm, while holding a nursing the baby with the other arm. That evening I had a babysitter come over after dinner to help me with the kids and help me get them to bed. That saved my sanity because this is what I text Brent, "Audrey is being so naughty and hyper. Ava is sooo angry and bothered by everything Audrey does or says. Coen needs help with his homework. And Kai needs a bath because of a blow out. Thank goodness I have help!"

Tuesday- I put Kai in the mobe wrap and made it to devotional! I really wanted to go because we had Elders Rasband and Christofferson, and Sister Camille Johnson speak. Yes, all three!

In the meantime, Brent was in UT freezing his buns off. He had a wonderful time meeting new friends.

On Tuesday and Thursday of the week when Brent was gone, a lady in our ward offered to come over in the afternoon to hold the baby and help me. Other than a few brief moments here and there like going to the bathroom, I had literally held Kai the entire time, including nights, since Brent left on Sunday, and it was now Tuesday afternoon. It was nice to have my hands free to throw in some laundry, do some dishes, and take a shower.

They tented the house next door to Audrey's preschool for termites fumigation:

I had to go to the doctor office around the corner from our house to re-do some bloodwork. I had Ava babysit the baby for the first time! She was so proud of herself. that she put him to sleep.

Sweet little Kai.

A few more of my texts to Brent from this time since it captures real life: 

"Kai slept well. Last night I decided to not worry about trying to get him to sleep in his bassinet. Just sleep on me and let's get some sleep, since he is gonna sleep on me anyway. I slept from 11:30ish to 2:30. Then 3:45 to 6." 

"Coen woke up a raging monster." 

"Kai is super close to smiling today." 

"Coen's attitude didn't improve. After school, me to him: 'Time to do homework.' Coen, while trying to kick my shins: 'No meanie. Why do you always have to be a meanie?' He's probably just going to have to hang out in his room for a few hours.' "

"Power went out... it's soooo hot! I didn't charge my phone. Also need to figure out how to open garage door without power." 

"Kids rode scooters to school and got out the door by 7:35"

"It's pouring here. I hope the bus gets Audrey to the zoo safe!"

"Kai had a belly ache this morning and was fussing so I had Ava hold him while I got Audrey ready for school. Then we were all standing on the porch together waiting for Audrey's ride and I was like who's doing stinky toots? And Ava said, the baby."

Brent got to visit his family:

And he also visited Brother Rojas

The day Brent was flying home we had crazy weather- flash flooding, strong winds, etc. Audrey's preschool had a fieldtrip to the zoo that day. Usually that side of the island is sunny even if ours is rainy, but they got rained out at the zoo and had to leave early. I saw online that the airport closed down and flights were turning around to the mainland or being diverted to other islands because of the weather. Our power was out all day and I was praying that Brent's flight, already on the way from SLC, could land in this weather! 

I had two different friends come check on me to make sure that I was doing ok with no power and no husband. 

Luckily the airport began accepting flights just before Brent's plane was due to land! I could not be more relieved when he arrived home that night. 

Baby Kai, four weeks old. Still so tiny in newborn clothes and diapers.

Audrey came home from school announcing she had a loose tooth because her friend accidentally elbowed her while they were dancing. It came out that night while eating dinner!

A video:

And that concludes January. So many highs and lows but the lows were made better by so many people helping us. And we were so happy to bring home our adorable Kai, even if we did bring him home to what felt like a chaotic home!